definition - Stretch

Stretch: [strech]

  -verb

  1. To injure, wreck, destroy, etc.

    We're going to stretch every single one of those guys at the rumble.

/ Stretched: [streched]

    That random just got stretched by the quarterback.

definition - Clownshoes

Clownshoes: [klown-shooz]

  -adjective

  1. Used to describe something that is easy.

    Man, that class is clownshoes.

  -adjective

  2. Used to describe something that is amateur.

    I just saw some rap battle go down in the park; it was definitely clownshoes.

definition - Spherical Hand Position

Spherical Hand Position: [sfeer-ah-cul hahnd pose-ish-shun]

  -quantity

  1. A portion size of this many food, holding hands in a spherical position.

    Plenty o' sustenance is based on a portion size of one spherical hand position.

definition - Plenty O' Sustenance

Plenty O' Sustenance: [plen-tee oh suh-stin-ance]

  -noun
  1. If you are full after eating one spherical hand position of a food, it provides plenty o' sustenance.

    Meat provides plenty o' sustenance, whereas vegetables do not.

theory - Food Theory (the four food groups)

All food fits into one of the four food groups: sauce, dust, meat, and vegetables.

Sauce: [sawce], see sauce for full definition.

  Anything in a liquid state that compliments its counterpart.

    Syrup on pancakes is really pancake sauce.

Dust: [duhst]

  Anything in a powder state that has the ability to enhance the experience for the end user.

    Sugar added to anything makes it tastes more sweeter.

    Salt added to anything makes it tasted more salty.

Meat: [meet]

  Any solid food product that provides plenty o' sustenance.

    Porridge is a meat, regardless of consistency, until it is poured on something, then it becomes sauce.

Vegetable: [veg-a-ta-bull]

  Any solid food product that is posing as a meat but is not dust.

    Popcorn is a vegetable because you can eat a whole spherical hand position and not receive any sustenance.

theory - Being Fashionable

The only difference between being fashionable and looking stupid is that people who are fashionable don't care if they look stupid, where as people who look stupid don't know they look stupid.

It's science.

theory - Beards vs. Suits

Men grow beards for the same reason that they wear suits, to impress other men.

It's science.

definition - This Many

This many: [this men-ee]

  -quantity

  1. Used to describe a quantity of food or drink, in conjunction with hand gestures showing size.

  

  There is this many sauce left. (Holding hand to bottle, showing the height of the liquid.)

definition - Sauce

Sauce: [sawce]

  -noun

  1. Anything in a liquid state that compliments its counterpart.

    Syrup on pancakes is really pancake sauce.
    Windshield wiper fluid is really windshield sauce.

theory - Bar Crew

Anytime you go to the bar it is absolutely necessary to bring a group of friends. Going to the bar by yourself is creepy. Meeting people there is less creepy, but still not ideal.

-Your crew should consist of at least three people in total: you, an ugly friend, and the designated driver.

-The ugly friend is there to make you look good by comparison and the designated driver is there to stop you from dying.

-If the designated driver can double as the ugly friend then you have room in your crew for an experienced wingman.

-Avoid going as a pair with your designated driver/ugly friend hybrid because it may look like you are "together," and that doesn't usually go over too well.

Bar technique is a completely different story but now you know how to be properly equipped when traveling to a bar.

It's science.

definition - Face

Face: [feys]

  -exclamation

  1. Used after proving someone wrong, similar to "in your face:"

    person 1: I bet I can jump over that river.

    person 2: There's no way you can make it.

     **person 1 jumps over the river**

    person 1: Face! (from across the river)

definition - J'approve

J'approve: [jah-proov]

  -verb

  1. To think a female is attractive:

     I J'approve of her.

  -exclamation

  2. Showing approval of attractive female passing by:

    J'approve!

  -verb

  3. To agree with something or someone:

    I J'approve of this definition.